Aram\u0131zda, utanma, \u00e7ekinme, tekell\u00fcf, gayr\u0131l\u0131k, al\u0131nma, temk\u00een, m\u00fcd\u00e2r\u00e2\u2026 gibi hi\u00e7bir perdenin olmayaca\u011f\u0131 birini. Zevkimi, esteti\u011fimi, heyecan\u0131m\u0131, sevincimi, kederimi, h\u00fczn\u00fcm\u00fc, fikrimi ve h\u00fclasa i\u00e7imde ve d\u0131\u015f\u0131mda neyim varsa, her \u015feyimi payla\u015fabilece\u011fim birini. Dert orta\u011f\u0131, s\u0131rda\u015f, e\u015f, yar, sevgili, m\u00e2\u015fuka, y\u00e2ver\u2026 ismi her neyse! Mah\u015fer\u00ee kalabal\u0131kta yapayaln\u0131z ve en \u201cyak\u0131n\u201d\u0131mdan bile fersah fersah uzakta olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 hissettirecek birini.<\/p>\n
D\u00fcnyada herkes yaln\u0131zd\u0131r! Yaln\u0131z gelir, yaln\u0131z gider. Ana, baba, karde\u015f, e\u015f, dost\u2026 hi\u00e7 kimse insan\u0131n yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 giderecek \u015fekilde ona yak\u0131nla\u015famaz<\/strong>. \u0130nsanla yak\u0131nl\u0131k, ancak avunma vesilesi. Heng\u00e2menin i\u00e7inde, renk c\u00fcmb\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn ortas\u0131nda ve e\u015fyalar\u0131n m\u00e2n\u00e2l\u0131 m\u00e2n\u00e2l\u0131 bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 mah\u015feri kalabal\u0131kta her kes yapayaln\u0131z. Bu, tek kelimeyle \u201cdeh\u015fet\u201d bir durum. \u0130stedi\u011finiz kadar ka\u00e7\u0131n, istedi\u011finiz kadar aray\u0131n; benli\u011finizin derinliklerinden y\u00fckselen susuzlu\u011fun bire bir cevab\u0131n\u0131 asla bulamazs\u0131n\u0131z!<\/strong> \u015eairler, ressamlar, heykelt\u0131ra\u015flar ve b\u00fct\u00fcn sanatk\u00e2rlar ayn\u0131 deh\u015fetin eseri. Her seste \u015fikayet var: Vefas\u0131zl\u0131ktan, kavu\u015famamaktan, cefadan, ayr\u0131l\u0131ktan ve yaln\u0131zl\u0131ktan. Sanat, dinmeyen \u0131zd\u0131rab\u0131n \u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fc.<\/p>\n Ve a\u015fk…<\/strong> B\u00fct\u00fcn lisanlar\u0131n en g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc kelimesi. Tek hecelik \u00f6l\u00fcm ferman\u0131!<\/strong> Ayaklar\u0131 yerden kesip kanatland\u0131ran. Ne g\u00fcld\u00fcren ne a\u011flatan. Hem yakan, hem serinleten. Tad\u0131n\u0131 bilen \u00e7ok, ne oldu\u011funu bilen yok. A\u015fk nedir diye sorulursa, ki\u015fi says\u0131 kadar tarif \u00e7\u0131kar. Hakk\u0131nda bu kadar \u015fiir s\u00f6ylenen ba\u015fka bir kelime duymad\u0131m.<\/p>\n Can\u0131m; bu kelimeleri senin i\u00e7in yaz\u0131yorum. Seni bug\u00fcne kadar tan\u0131ma f\u0131rsat\u0131m olmad\u0131. Y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rmedim, elini tutmad\u0131m, ad\u0131n\u0131 da bilmiyorum. Kim oldu\u011funu, neye benzedi\u011fini bilmiyorum. \u0130nan ki, kuca\u011f\u0131ma bu yang\u0131n\u0131 ben yerle\u015ftirmedim; daha do\u011fdu\u011fumda, sen vard\u0131n i\u00e7imde. \u0130\u00e7imdeki mum eridi, bitecek. Seni aramaktan g\u00f6n\u00fcl kelebe\u011fim b\u00eetap d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Gel art\u0131k.<\/p>\n Bir yanda h\u00fccrelerinde kaynayan arzu, di\u011fer tarafta mukaddesler. Keskin u\u00e7lu iki k\u0131skac\u0131n tam ortas\u0131d\u0131r a\u015fk. Sanatk\u00e2r, i\u015fte bu kazanda pi\u015fen tezatlar\u0131n toplam\u0131.<\/strong><\/p>\n Diz \u00e7\u00f6kmek sadakatin mabedinde. D\u00fcr\u00fcst olmak, maskesiz olmak, kayg\u0131s\u0131z olmak ve kendim olmak. Hatalar\u0131mla, eksikliklerimle, g\u00fcnah ve noksanlar\u0131mla bir \u201cinsan\u201d\u0131m! Mahl\u00fbk\u00e2t\u0131n en \u015fereflisi de, al\u00e7alanlar\u0131n en halisi de bende sakl\u0131.<\/strong> Etimle, kemi\u011finle, \u00e7amurdan\u0131m. \u00d6ylece kabul eder misin beni?<\/p>\n Kurulu d\u00fczende aranmaz sevgili. Bulut y\u00fckseklerde, mehtap uzaklarda olmu\u015f hep. G\u00fcne\u015f kovalamakla yakalanmam\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n \u0130\u015ftiyak g\u00f6zlerinin \u00f6n\u00fcnde \u015fuan: Harfler sana bak\u0131yor; harfler, yani benim g\u00f6zlerim<\/strong>. \u0130rfan\u0131m, cehalet mertebesine erdi.<\/p>\n Beden\u00ee, g\u00fcndelik ve sath\u00ee olanlardan \u00f6teye, ser\u00e2zat bir ruhla kanatlanmak istedim. S\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla pranga oldu hayat.<\/strong> Kanad\u0131m k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131. S\u0131yr\u0131lmam, y\u00fccelmem, asl\u0131ma d\u00f6n\u00fcp sevgilime u\u00e7mam gerek.<\/p>\n Ehemmiyetsiz baya\u011f\u0131l\u0131klar\u0131n icab\u0131na bakmay\u0131p itina g\u00f6stermedik\u00e7e \u00f6r\u00fcld\u00fcler etraf\u0131ma. Uzakla\u015ft\u0131m sevgilimden. Ve anlad\u0131m; hayvan\u00ee umksuzlu\u011fun f\u0131rlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u011f i\u011fneyle s\u00f6k\u00fclmeli. \u00dcst\u00fcme \u00e7ullanan \u015f\u0131ng\u0131rt\u0131l\u0131 d\u00fcnyan\u0131n tam ortas\u0131nda merdiven in\u015fa edilmeli. Harp meydan\u0131na d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f benli\u011fim. Yaral\u0131y\u0131m. M\u00fccadeleye kaleden ba\u015flamal\u0131. Kendi i\u00e7imden.<\/p>\n Uzaktan sevgilim g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc her g\u00fczel. Yak\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131mda duvarla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131m. Arad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n duvar\u0131n arkas\u0131nda oldu\u011funu fark ettim. Yani kendi g\u00f6nl\u00fcmde\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n Kariyer, sosyal \u00e7evre, kazanma h\u0131rs\u0131, hayat cenderesi ve prangalar\u2026 G\u00fcndelik ve maddi ne varsa; b\u0131rak\u0131p geldim. Her ak\u015fam \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u015f k\u0131yafeti gibi.<\/p>\n S\u0131rra gidelim, mahrem-i raz olal\u0131m<\/strong>. Yedinci kat g\u00f6kten daha ileriye, ebedi sevgiliye varal\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n ——-<\/p>\n Ser\u00e2z\u00e2t.com’da; sadece Necip YILDIRIM’\u0131n \u015fiir ve makaleleri yer almaktad\u0131r. B\u00fct\u00fcn haklar\u0131 sakl\u0131d\u0131r. \u0130zinsiz kopyalanamaz ve ne\u015fredilemez.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Aram\u0131zda, utanma, \u00e7ekinme, tekell\u00fcf, gayr\u0131l\u0131k, al\u0131nma, temk\u00een, m\u00fcd\u00e2r\u00e2\u2026 gibi hi\u00e7bir perdenin olmayaca\u011f\u0131 birini. Zevkimi, esteti\u011fimi, heyecan\u0131m\u0131, sevincimi, kederimi, h\u00fczn\u00fcm\u00fc, fikrimi<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1452,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7119","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-deneme-yazilari-ahmed-necip-yildirim-denemeler"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.necipyildirim.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7119","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.necipyildirim.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.necipyildirim.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.necipyildirim.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.necipyildirim.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7119"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.necipyildirim.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7119\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.necipyildirim.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1452"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.necipyildirim.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7119"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.necipyildirim.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7119"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.necipyildirim.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7119"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}